Social Intelligence, by Karl Albrecht

After reading Outliers (see below), I decided to explore the Karl Albrecht books he referenced: Social Intelligence, Practical Intelligence, and the Powers of Minds at Work (on Organizational Intelligence). Last night I read Social Intelligence, which describes S.P.A.C.E.: Situational intelligence, Presence, Authenticity, Clarity, and Empathy. Situational refers to context. You wouldn't yell in a Cathedral, and you wouldn't whisper in a night club. Its about appropriate action in context. Presence has to do with the sense you create as you enter a room by your words and posture--gravitas or flightiness; confidence or insecurity; humility or arrogance. He recommends watching a videotape of yourself or listening to a tape. His example of authenticity is Popeye ("I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam.") Like the genie said in Aladdin, "Be yourself." Evidently, its not so easy. Clarity is basically using simple words and sentences, just trying to be clear, not obfuscating (hiding the subject) with the big words. Empathy is connecting to people. All of these things can be developed and honed with practice and experience, but it takes paying attention. Learn from those you admire who excel in those categories. Its really not that hard to figure out, but a lot of people don't grow up with people who can give them these skills. Those who do have a big advantage--one of the points in Outliers. But the skills can be learned once we're aware of them, and we want to. That's very hopeful.

I will say that, depending on where you're starting, it might be more helpful to read Tongue Fu! by Sam Horn. That's a great little book. A friend of mine told me she'd just bought 3 copies for her children. Its got lots of practical techniques for dealing with difficult people and emotions, and its a fun and easy book to read.

I just got Jane Eyre for the book club, so I'll probably be posting about that soon.